From Isaack the Spirit

I am spirit!

I am just from church today. Ken, Son of pastor Kenny Foreman loves watching movies.. His sermons are full of multimedia. He had this one picture of Jesus on the cross from the Passion of the Christ. He was covered in blood. To say the least I would not even want to be the soilders that nailed his frail body to the cross. I mean, half of the skin had been stripped off this back, where do you hold him.

So it hit me, an epiphany. I am not my body. I am Spirit. Isaack is SPIRIT. I have a body that is incapable of decipline, I break all the promises that I make, ok not all but a large number, I do not follow upon comitments that I make, to myself and to others.

Reason, Isaack the Spirit is weak.

Solution. Isaack the Spirit has to grow, eat , exercise, flex Isaack Spirit muscle(aka Decision making muscle). I am way behind and if i do not start now, and work at it day and night Isaack the whole will be a failure.

I realised this after watching Jesus on the cross. I am modeled like my Father. Jesus came into this earth to prove that we could achieve rightousness. We cannot acheieve rightousness by our own strengh, by what the human body and mind can come up with, the Bible clearly states that. It is impossible, we were born into sin and sin will always be stronger than any will or decipline that we achieve. The only way that we can achieve rightousness is by growing the Spirit, the part of us that is of God like nature and constantly ensuring that it is so strong that it controls the human sinfull body.

So that is my Goal, It is a two pronged process.

1. Grow Isaack the Spirit, read the Bible, talk to my Father in heaven. Ensure that Isaack the Spirit has decipline, direction, knowledge, love, faith.

2. Use my Isaack the spirit to take care and maintain the body.

The human body is like a ship with extra sensitive short range alarm detection system with evasive systems. This systems warn me of danger and lead me to the easiest path along the direction which the ship is pointed. Unfortunately if the ship is not constantly pointed in the correct direction it just goes round and round in large circles and constantly hits dead ends.

It just goes to saying that the Spirit is the captain of the ship. My ship has a dying captain who has not contacted the ship owner for a very long time!!!!! I will do things that grow the 1) Spirit and 2) exercise control over the body. Isaack the Spirit will check back in 2 days(Tuesday at 10pm) see as assess the progress attained and realign to achieve the goals.

to get list

i noticed that i am going through my toget list very fast. So i put in something there that will slow it down alittle bit.... a 52 foot Regal

Lets all start the healing process and preach love & unity

i received this email yesterday. it is quite a read

From: Kenyan.Notifications@onditi-inc.com
Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 22:05:30 -0500
Subject: [Jambo] Lets all start the healing process and preach love & unity.... read along

Dear Friends,

As Kenya goes through a transition and change phase, we suddenly find ourselves at a crossroad . I have experienced all forms of emotions and I believe some have not literal definition. I expect that all of you have gone through the same.

You must have gone through joy on 25 ^th December, Satisfaction on 27 ^th December, Anxiety on 28 ^th December, Anger/Joy on 30 ^th December, Hope/despair on 1 ^st January, Bitterness/exhilaration on the following days, confusion and ambiguity over the past month, great reflection currently and a sense of frustration as you watch your TV and listen to the radio.

A common factor is that WE all are “ FEELING ” something. I have been through all that and continue to do so even now. I have also blamed others, blamed our leaders and blamed anyone whose political opinion may have differed with mine. Yet, when you study leadership, you will note that leaders are a reflection of their follower. I have done a 360 degree turn around and pointed at “I”. Perhaps, blaming “me” is also a reflection of something missing.

What does it truly mean to be a Kenyan? Why would neighbors turn against one another? While many of us, publicly or privately have numerous explanations as to why we are in this current quagmire, we must ask ourselves some fundamental questions :

1. How can nation that is 80% Christian , over 15% Muslim and 5% other , turn against itself like this? Do we truly practice our beliefs and confess the faith or it window dressing?
2. Do leaders that we elect truly represent our ethos or their egos ?
3. The fact that certain individuals present themselves as leaders are they the only ones available or can we select from other sources?
4. Is there anyone who has no flaw ? And if so, have we learnt the art of forgiveness?

I certainly do not have answers to these questions but often reflect on them. Why? Because at some point of my life my THREE year old son will want to know what my role was in this entire predicament we find ourselves. At that time, I hope He and his siblings shall be judged by the content of their character rather than by their name or ethnic background.

Which brings be to my pains : By now you have figured out my name for this purpose : Mwangi, whose best man during my wedding happened to be a mwangi married who is married to a lovely Luo lady, whom I grew up with in my childhood days and to date our families remain best of friends. My wife’s best mate was her longtime school friend, who also is Luo and Godmother to my son. My high school friends come from all the corners of this country. Those who provide essential services and goods to me are from our rich cultural diversity. My grandmother is Maasai, my father Dutch (albeit in my school days I would be asked to explain why I am not “white”), my cousin is married into the Kalejin community as my aunt to the Kamba and yet another aunt to an Indian. My Singh friends from high school married our Kamba and Meru sisters…and the list goes on.

And some how at this rather anxious times, we are “expect” to dissociate ourselves from “the others”! WE CANNOT! WE SHOULD NOT! WE MUST NOT! I certainly cannot. In each community I shall find I have what we call “athoniwa” (in-laws).

To each of these “athoniwa” there are flaws. Hence my joy when our administrator at KeNAAM, herself a daughter of mixed heritage, sent me the above power point. Like the cracked pot, we continue to water the “flowers of diversity”, a rich cultural heritage, just happy to be human.

Let us strive to heal this nation from whatever seats we occupy. It not easy, it is painful, but heal, we must! If you truly know in your heart that you feel offended and hurt by the current situation and there’s temptation to attribute through generalization and rationalization to some other perceived community behavior, walk to persons from that community and HUG THEM ! It will ease both your guilt and latent anger while restoring the humanness in you.

Peace begins in our hearts, then our homes, just like this chaos began in our hearts and homes : When we receive sms/emails/messages with stereotypical hate literature and obscene language…many of us were tempted to share them not knowing what seeds we were sowing. When we say “ nice ” things in public to each other and then in the privacy of our homes say the very opposite, we were sowing seeds of future conflict. Especially when our children pick these contradictions in our seating rooms.

We are all angry , there are no winners in this precarious game , we are all losers . We have lost our confidence to relate with one another, we have lost our confidence to trust one another, we have lost our image as an island of peace, and we have lost income in this nation and most upsetting WE HAVE LOST LIVES, most innocent.

Personally, I have lost friends in Eldoret . In Kibera, the lady who helps us at home lost her 13 year girl in skirmishes. In Narok where I have part heritage, we have witnessed persons from my other heritage displaced. My friends from Kisii residing in certain parts of this country have been given notice to move.

HOW CAN THIS TRULY BENEFIT US?

I am reminded of a person who somewhere in Europe at some time around the second world war (not really sure of time) remarked : When they started with the killings, it only affected “them”, those who were far away, then it came to Jews and I did not say anything, then it was my neighbors and I was still quiet when suddenly, there was no one left, but me…they were coming for me!

Do not seat in the comfort of your home and saying it is just them! Soon it will be the neighbors and before long it is us! The best defence in anything is to seek peace for all.

YOU ARE A LEADER ON YOUR OWN RIGHT! YOUR ACTIONS WILL INFORM OTHERS AND GIVE THEM HOPE! DO SOMETHING…we are not all made to do the same thing BUT IN THIS INSTANCE through our diverse talents, we MUST seek PEACE for our people.

HUG someone, FORGIVE Someone (even when you watch the news or listen to the radio)…forgive 70 times 70 times 70 times…its hard for us, its harder for those who have lost loved ones, but we must. And when history judges us, let it be on record, you sought peace! FORGIVE YOURSELF!

time to stand

You must have been living in a hole for you not to know of what is happening in Kenya. On December 2007 we had a peaceful and civil election. Unfortunately for us our hands were tied behind our backs by our location in the UK, Asia, US, Australia and other parts of the world. But that was ok, we had our mothers our fathers brothers cousins sisters uncles aunties.. ||yeah we Kenyans have big families big families|| who went out in large numbers to represent us at the ballot. We followed the news through Daily Nation and the EA Standard and Nation Media servers crept to a crawl due to the number of hits by us living outside Kenya wanting to keep up with the results of the elections. Some of us who had never heard of Jump TV heard if for the first time in December 2007 ||yeah it shows live KBC|| Then came the media back out and then the news of the violence.

Homes and churches were burnt shops were looted people were displaced. It is sometimes difficult to imagine this is the Kenya we left behind, it looked more like one of our war torn neighboring countries. As we watched in relative safety through the internet and made calls to our families ||and some of us had not done this in a long time|| we learnt that most of them emerged unscathed....

pause....

If you are reading this and you lost a loved one in the post election violence I offer you my condolences.

We are still reeling from the election aftermath that was brought about by our leader's greed and irresponsibility.

Peace is beginning to come back to Kenya being as we were always a peaceful people and We wait to see the effects the unrest is going to have on the Kenyan economy.

If there is any good thing that came out of the election violence is that it united the Kenyans in the diaspora. As you read this from whichever part of the world you are living in right now I am sure that there is something being done in your area. Here in the US, walks being are being organized in the East Coast in DC to help raise awareness in the West Coast in Sacramento an huge event is being organized to raise funds for the people who were displaced.

If you have not gotten a chance to do anything and are feeling helpless being so far away, do not settle, do not ignore because the problem is still there and there is still something that you can do. This are not the elections where the only power you had to effect change was to try and convince your relatives and friends on which candidate to vote for, now you can actually make a difference. The rest of Kenya is still nursing its wounds and so we cannot expect it to do much, but We who watched the turn of events through the relative safety of the powerful internet and can now in turn harness this power to feed the displaced now living in jamhuri grounds. Just click on the link and it will take you to the website. This people are on the ground and are making a difference. Let us support them. Forward this email to all the people that you know and let us stand together and make a difference.

http://www.lightindarkness.org/outreach/

edge(modify)

it is another day again.

not just another

success reeks in the air

i just did it, just about to do it

i can feel myself getting lighter,

the knife getting sharper..

the sharp could not split everything

but now

nothing can come in its path..

focused, sharp.. unstoppable.. the sky is the limit..

i can smell something

something that needs to be cut

need to ready the edge

coz i know that it will sharpen it too

i was not using the cutting edge, but now it is sharp

mango juice

you know, that expression that God loves me, i do not feel it more than i am feeling it today. i am writing this post from my laptop. i would have done it from my new htc hermes, but it feels more exiting to use laptop. And now in retrospect, I can even laugh at what happened this morning.

I woke up really hungry, I mean 7 hours without food, i am a growing boy and i need my carbohydrates. So there was me ,in this homely picture of me looking over at sanjosegigs.com very exited at this site that is going to be the window to my next job, two slices of wheat bread(no margarine) on one hand, a glass of mango juice on the other, and with the other 4 fingers i was pushing buttons on the keyboard, peering at the screen.

Then it happened. There was this line from the printer that had kept on interrupting my keyboard movement from the hand with the mango juice, damn that juice was sweet… Then in a very bad dream like fashion, you know the kind where it is very dark and cloudy, with lightning flashing in the grey background, music playing from an organ, the printers USB line tripped my hand movement and in fuzzy vision I remember seeing half my glass empty the yellow liquid on my laptops keyboard.

I sat there for two minutes. For those two minutes I just looked. No thought whatsoever went through my mind, I think I was waiting to hit the floor, like I normally do when I have a bad dream and fall out of bed. Well, I never woke up.. When my brain finally kicked in and realized that there was no hard floor to rescue me, I did what one engineer had once told me. He had told me that if I was to ever get water on an electronic device, I as to completely turn it off and remove it from power and remove the battery if it had one. I was then to let it dry completely, even if it meant not using it for a couple of days, after the dry treatment the said device was to function just fine. He gave me this advice after I had called him about our TV. My mum had spilt water through the cooling vents during world cup season. As wise as she is she had then proceeded to turn on the Tv to see whether it worked... she told us only smoke came out, the TV did not even come on. That weekend she was not the most popular person with us. The advice from the engineer came a little bit late for our TV but I remembered and used it quite a number of times... and in all those times up to the second last one where my phone dropped into a pitcher full of water, non of them worked. I remember my K750 screen going white and I lost half of my contacts.

Back to today. After the realization that this was the real thing and seeing that i was not dreaming in any way, my brain kicked into high gear. the two cell phones that i had been unable to save had given me enough practice to know what to do . Immediately reached for the power button. Once off I went and grabbed a few paper towels, two trips back to the paper towel roll in the kitchen, I realized that i probably needed the whole roll. in the end i just tilted the computer on its side and then just let the yellow juice pour onto the table... #i shudder just to think of it#

long story, but eventually I but had to leave the house to go to work. I left the computer in front of a HVC(high velocity fan) eight hours later and i am typing my blog from its keyboard.. I guess Compaq's are really built to last. There is still little stickiness when I type from the sugar but other than that and the comp smelling like sweet mango, there is nothing wrong with it...

Empting your glass of juice on a one year old comp, that is has been supped up with just about everything is not one of the brightest things to do..... again i say GOD LOVES ME!!!!!! lemme leave now and so that i can go play with my new htc hermes.

note to self: when you are working on the laptop do not have any food or drinks around

celeb

some of the perks of working as a security guard, my new site is really cool. i am getting to see how the rich live and how they spend their money. something i am learning, most of all they are human and most of them have a very highly developed interpersonal skills. i have not yet seen any faces i recognize but expect to see a couple of familiar faces this weekend.

i had no idea that this place existed till the office called and told me about this gig that where i could earn myself some good money. Today I told the other guys in the van (quite a comfortable one if i should add, baby's mama is going to get one of this) as we were driving back that not too far in the future i am going to drive myself those curvy roads in one of this to the gate and show them my membership card..

tomorrow no work, there is this little test i have to sit for.. i will take English 1B for spring sem. all the other courses will remain the same.. i still don't have a place to say. i called Nate today and she sent me a few links from craigslist. one place i had we had already seen with my mum last week. the other place i will check out after i am done with the test.. my mum is not around this weekend so i will be doing this alone.

eager as i was to get home today, the phone has not yet gotten here. 2 day mail is 2 day mail, fedex promised!!! I failed to print the online receipt so i am not sure how i am going to get my rebate. i talked to Phil today morning so i am hoping he signed for it. i will check on him in the morning.. scratch that, evening. i will be leaving this place at 7am and i don't want any distractions. it is a good thing i did not get the phone tonight or it will be like that time i got the k750.. so tomorrow night, i cant hardly wait, but tonight i will go through the WST and make sure that I set to pass……